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Your home is your castle, and your family your greatest asset, so you want to keep everything safe. But if you’ve priced home security systems lately, you might have felt your bank book cringe. I’m not going to tell you not to buy an alarm system, but if you’re not at a point where you can invest thousands of dollars, and you just want to do a few things to make your home safer, this article is for you. I’m going to give you a list of tips you can use to make your home safer without spending any money. The most important thing to keep in mind is that burglars are lazy. Like most people, they want the highest reward with the least possible risk and effort. The more challenging you can make your house appear, the more likely the burglar is to pass on by and pick on somebody else.

Here are your tips:
Trim shrubs back from doors and walkways. Lock your storage shed and don’t leave tools out in the yard. Keep the lawn mowed and the exterior of the house maintained. Plant thorny shrubs beneath first-story windows. If an outdoor light burns out, change it right away. Don’t display your valuables conspicuously, as this only tempts thieves. When you make new purchases (such as said plasma TV), don’t leave the boxes by the curb to announce your valuable acquisitions–break boxes down and stuff them in your recycling bin. Don’t store house keys under the doormat, a rock, etc. (thieves are wise to all the tricks–if you always lose your keys, consider a fingerprint activated lock instead). Keep tree branches trimmed back from windows and your roof. Make sure the garage doors are sturdy (no loose panels or damaged corners), especially if the garage is attached to the house.

Always shut and lock your doors when you leave the house.Hopefully these tips will help you make your home less of a target. Remember, home security is as much a matter of employing common sense as it is a bunch of expensive gadgets and gizmos, said a building inspector who was once an employment lawyer.

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Marriage and the Birth of Funny Relationship Quotes

I’ve come across several funny relationship quotes and found some interesting oddities. If a male was quoted, he’d be putting a woman as the antagonist. If a female was quoted, she would still be the antagonist putting the male in a submissive role. One view comes off as chauvinistic while another comes off as feministic. Below are a few quotations and some corresponding views on them.

“My advice to you is to get married: if you find a good wife, you’ll be happy;
if not, you will become a philosopher.”
- Socrates

I think it is obvious how Socrates came up with this funny relationship quote. Although, given his reputation as a philosopher and having a serious state of mind, this could have been said in all seriousness. He got married thinking he has found his perfect mate and found that to be fallacious. So in trying to decipher what was going on with his wife and marriage, he became a philosopher.

“I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me
from a doormat or a prostitute.”
- Rebecca West

This funny relationship quote may have stemmed from chauvinists that tend to expect women to be the submissive in relationships or look to them for only one thing – intercourse. This much can be picked up from Napoleon’s view of women – machines for producing children. What is a woman to do? Demand respect of course.

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
- Groucho Marx

Marriage is a huge step in relationships. One should always know for sure if the one they are marrying is the right/just choice. Otherwise, this funny relationship quote can come in handy for any male or female get a jury to decide for you.

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week
- a little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
- Henry Youngman

This funny relationship quote actually carries double-meaning. The obvious message of the quote says that a man and his wife hardly spend time together. Yet the hidden meaning to this can actually come off as good relationship advice – to make time for your self in a marriage. Two people may be married as one but there are still two people involved in making it work. What’s a relationship if the other is lost in it?

Funny relationship quotes may come off as tease but in truth, they are parallels to the reality that we live in, giving a more light-hearted look at disagreements instead of dwelling on them.

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